The Yellow Tablet Confessional:

Memories of a Weird Life. But I look normal.

Sometimes we think that people who write their memoirs must think a lot of themselves. Sometimes that's true. Sometimes not.

When I was in my mid-thirties, my mother (with whom I shared a distant, yet longing relationship) told me that I should write about my life. " You'd better do it before you turn 40. You start living a another book after that!" Did I listen?

No. I don't know why. I listened to her when she wanted me to dye my very long blonde hair red. I didn't think my life was that interesting. Just embarrassing. I guess her perception was created about how she felt about her own life.

My first 40 years may seem interesting. However, I was not responsible for making it so. I made no notable contribution or accomplishment. That facts are that an odd life swirled around me. A story happened by chance and some by choice. Sometimes the choices made by people in my life. Sometimes by my own choices (often choices made in self protection or avoidance).

After I turned 40 I can say that I managed to break out of myself and begin to really live. Odd people still swirled around my universe, making challenges and just plain trouble. I still made choices to avoid life but that occurred less and less. Self awareness can be an annoying and amazing gift.

So...sometimes it's true that people who write their memoirs think a lot of themselves. Sometimes not. Sometimes all at the same time.